My Personal Ministry And Testimony

I am the youngest child of 4 boys.  My oldest brother is 18 years older than me.  My closest brother is 10 years older than me.  My Parents were 43 and 38 when I was born, and so they felt overwhelmed by my birth and medical challenges.  I was diagnosed with hydrocephalus, which is water on the brain, at 1 year old.  My mother was an angel, even though she blamed herself for my problems, it was due to her that I am here today.  I have always been “spiritually minded”; I have always loved church, but have always searched for a place to “fit in.”  I had been searching and studying for years, I have 40 hours of bachelors course work in religion, and I was still looking for fulfillment, happiness and joy. I was ordained to the Gospel Ministry in 1999 and was an extreme anti-Mormon. I was 25 years old and had grown up southern Baptist. I have always had the leading to minister in Jesus name, and even started a ministry with several friends. I was an active persecutor of the LDS church, used to love to get the missionaries into my house to bash them. I met my now wife on E-Harmony.com in January 2004 and it was not until we started talking that I found out she was LDS, and not only LDS but a returned Missionary. I had to fight the urgings in my gut to cut and run. The connection between us was very strong and I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she was the one that I was to marry. When we visited the ward everyone went out of their way to introduce themselves. My wife was excited to find out that there were sister missionaries in our ward and invited them over. They came over and went through the principles of the Gospel and everything clicked. I prayed for an answer about the truth of the book of Mormon and the prophetic office of Joseph Smith, the Gospel and the LDS church. My answer came and I was baptized July 31, 2004. My wife and I were called as Ward Missionaries the same Sunday I was confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and received the gift of the Holy Ghost. I liken the experience to that of the apostle Paul: Philippians 3:1 Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you, to me indeed is not grievous, but for you it is safe. 2 Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision. 3 For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh. 4 Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more: 5 Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; 6 Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. 7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. 8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the Excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; 11 If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. 12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. 16 Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing. 17 Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample. 18 (For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: 19 Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.) 20 For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: 21 Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself. KJV Paul talks about being a "Hebrew of Hebrews" as to the law a Pharisee, which for those that do not know means that he was of the camp that was so concerned with keeping the law that they not only kept the letter of the law, but the spirit also. I can't say that was exactly me, but I can say that I did try hard to keep appearances. But what I have found since joining the true church is that when you live the truth and are surrounded by people living the truth and not trying to impress everyone or be something you are not, then you don't have to try to be something you aren't to impress people. I feel blessed and privileged to be in this dispensation and the guidance we receive from our church leaders.

I know in my life there have been many “Falling Rocks”.  My mother died when I was 14 and my father not only didn’t know how to handle raising a child by himself, but I was dealing with autism and didn’t know.  I didn’t find out about that until last year.  Now our relationship is improving, but I don’t know that it can ever be what it might have been if things had been different.  I was asked to leave several churches, I was told by the leadership in one that I could sing in the choir and attend worship but I was not allowed to do anything else because I made people feel “uncomfortable.” Now I know it was because of my Autism, but I also know it was not correct behavior for people that proclaimed to be Christians. 

For many years I felt like such loser and complete failure. I now have to realize that Autism is not who I AM and I choose not to use Autism as an excuse to not choose the right. We work hard in our house not to judge each other on the things we can’t change. And we work hard on the things we can. I want my daughter to grow up in a home with gentleness, meekness, love unfeigned, kindness, and charity because I never had that in my home until I married my beautiful wife and found the gospel.

From my earliest recollections I remember believing the basic doctrines just as they are taught in the LDS church.  In my training in church school as in my training in college the things that I knew in my heart were taught out of my head.   The reason most people don't want to accept the teachings of the church is that they don't want to change.  Churches don't teach doctrines in a way that people really do want to obey.  Free agency leaves us the choice to obey or not, but why obey if there is no real encouragement?   Churches spend a lot of time trying to make their members follow the commands of God to Tithe, and many other things.  Churches spend so much time trying to raise money they don't have time for ministry.  Some churches spend lots of time making people feel like they do not belong and making them leave, but is that God's way?   We are supposed to hate the sin and love the sinner, not hate the sinner for the sin for as Paul said in Romans3:23 "for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" Stop spending so much time being judgmental and spend more time serving Christ.